by Michelle Goulbourne - Article April 2018

“Good morning my sister in the Lord, how are you today?” One woman asks another who responds, “I am blessed and highly favoured and waiting for my husband.” Interesting answer right?  Waiting involves being patient and according to the Oxford Online Dictionary, patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problem or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.  It also denotes being able to stay where one is or to delay action until a particular time. The other meaning to waiting comes from the word waiter, or server. Isaiah 40 says, “They that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”  So, how is waiting going to renew one’s strength? Note, the Scripture says, they shall run and they shall walk which implies preparation while we wait.

First, Do A Self Check

Ladies, I want to suggest that you emulate Queen Esther in preparation for your  expected husband.  Please take the time to know yourselves, to purge and to perfume your spirits while you wait for your King Ahasuerus to identify you.  Be introspective, ask yourself:

Who really am I?

What do I like/dislike?

What is my personality type?

Would I like me, if I met me?

What are my expectations of a husband?

Are you a pessimist and a complainer, failing to see good in anything, expecting that your husband will make you happy?   Proverbs 17:22 NKJV, speaks, “A merry heart does good, like medicine but a broken spirit dries the bones.” This kind of spirit wearies out a spouse and can cause sickness both physically and spiritually to yourself and others around you.  However, the individual who is of a ‘merry countenance’, attracts others to them and can transform the atmosphere.   Men like to be around people who make them feel good about themselves, so if you are not able to lift your own spirit then chances are you will not be able to lift his either.

Second, Shed Your Baggage

Very often our negative disposition and traits are baggage from our past and when unearthed, they damage our relationships. Issues such as, self-esteem, unresolved hurt from past relationships and family. Matthew 5:23, addresses unforgiveness as a major inhibitor to God’s blessings, so make peace immediately.

Third, Check Your Motives

I know women who have remained single into their 40s and beyond, who have issues with sharing. They are unwilling to share their bed, their time and decision making. What then is the purpose of asking for a mate?  The Scripture tells us “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” James 4:3 KJV.

Many females panic that their biological clock is running out of time and so they either decide to leave the church, find a man just to have a child and then return to church. Whilst others marry someone in church, so that they are not considered to have sinned, just to have sex and a baby.  When the baby is born, the husband is then obsolete.  She wants nothing more to do with the child’s father because she is financially secure enough to support the situation single-handedly.  Note, God loves His sons too! Be careful, God does not approve of deception and manipulation, these motives usually have severe consequences. Be resolute in keeping yourself chaste and honourable before God during your period of waiting.

Fourth, Serve the Kingdom faithfully

While Ruth was expecting a husband, she served Naomi and her community as unto the Lord. Naomi groomed and advised her on how to wait for her husband.  The Scripture tells us in Titus 2: 4-5 NLV “Older women are to teach the young women to love their husbands and children.” So Ruth submitted herself unto Naomi’s mentorship and the Lord favoured her. Ruth’s motive was not solely to gain a husband because she was busy being trained by Naomi and was busy learning how to make a living.  Ruth was found by Boaz, while she was gleaning in his field.  Naomi wisely placed Ruth in that special spot where she knew Boaz would show up.

So many females have stopped evangelizing or never have.  We are saved to serve God’s purposes on earth and so evangelism is one of the vehicles to bringing souls into the Kingdom. The Scripture says in Proverbs 11:30 KJV “…he that winneth souls is wise.” One young lady who was fervently seeking the Lord concerning her husband, was stopped one night by a young man, who always saw her pass him going to and coming from church every night. He mentioned that she had never stopped to invite him to church or tell him about the Jesus that she knew. Jesus stated in Luke 19:12-13 KJV pertaining to the Kingdom of heaven “Occupy till I come.”  The Scriptures says in Matthew 9:37 KJV, “…the fields are white for harvest but the labourers are few.” Some people do not want to plant even a grain of corn but want to reap a harvest. How many of us females are guilty of this?  No one gets rewarded who does not work in God’s Kingdom.

Fifth, Choose Faith Ditch Doubt

Ladies, tell God exactly what you desire in a husband. As God, He knows you better than you know yourself. I am sure that your expected husband is also praying for a wife, which is his match.  However, sometimes we are unsure of what we desire and the Scripture says in James 1:8 KJV, “A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways and cannot expect to receive anything from the Lord.”  Have you been changing your mind before God as to whether you want a husband or not?  Sometimes you hear of situations that sound unbearable for married friends or relatives and at that point you then go back on your prayers and tell God that you are okay without a husband and you are fine with singleness. Remember, every marriage has challenges at times and so you need to be resolute that, in your quest for your husband, there are no issues that God cannot fix. If you are sure of what you expect from the Lord and are not wavering, then continue to trust the Lord and declare His word in Numbers 14:28 KJV which says, “As truly as I live, saith the LORD, as ye have spoken in mine ears, so will I do to you.” Also Mark 11:24 KJV, “Therefore I say unto you, whatsoever things you desire, when you pray, believe you have received it, and you shall have it.”  Philippians 4:6-7 NIV,  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Finally, Live The Proverbs 31 Standard

In Summary, find your ministry and become occupied with God’s business.  Seek avenues to evangelize, join women’s groups where there are older women who can instruct you on how to keep your homes and how to treat your future husbands and children. Seek also to develop that chaste and gentle spirit which Proverbs 31 speaks about. Pray in Faith believing God, with thanksgiving.  Then surely if you align yourself with God’s purpose for your life, the Boaz that you so earnestly seek, will finally find you while you are gleaning in his field, engaged in the work of the Lord.